Protecting Independence vs Relationship Cooperation

As my husband and I come to our 2 year anniversary, we have been discussing opportunities for enriching the home life experience. Through our discussions I have realized a behavior I have acquired over the years that contributes to a minor wedge in my ability to cooperate with genuine companionship. I protect my right to independence at home, and not just a little. I make compromises when they maintain my home life ideal, which is to adapt my home to maximize my ability to do things without help. When I put this priority into words it sounds completely rational and totally justified. However, in practice, I end up putting myself first and only superficially cooperating with a small piece of any particular issue perceived to potentially threaten the independence I spend so much time cultivating. Relationships are a whole different  ball game and a divergence from my initial game plan. I did not include compromise in my self-deterministic view of maximum freedom at home. School, community, work, and other people’s homes are where compromises need to happen, but my home is mine. Here’s the thing though… It’s not my home; it’s our home and we have equal rights, which means my game plan needs to change along with my life plan. I am not saying I am not going to be a stubborn negotiator, but I am saying I recognize my husband is entitled to negotiation.

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